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System Programming Jokes
Warning: Authors are not responsible for any neuro-apoptosis caused by these "jokes." - Groaners are allowed.
Q. How many system programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one but they keep changing it until it returns zero.
A. None they prefer an empty socket.
A. Well you start with one but actually it waits for a child to do all of the work.
Why did the baby system programmer like their new colorful blankie? It was multithreaded.
Why are your programs so fine and soft? I only use 400-thread-count or higher programs.
Why are C programmers so messy? They store everything in one big heap.
A system programmer is...
Someone who knows sleepsort is a bad idea but still dreams of an excuse to use it.
Someone who never lets their code deadlock... but when it does, causes more problems than everyone else combined.
Someone who believes zombies are real.
Someone who doesn't trust their process to run correctly without testing with the same data, kernel, compiler, RAM, filesystem size,file system format, disk brand, core count, CPU load, weather, magnetic flux, orientation, pixie dust, horoscope sign, wall color, time of day, temperature, humidity...
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